1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,260 My brother Sam 4 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:43,520 took this photo 5 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,580 just 20 minutes before he died. 6 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,900 I remember being in LA 7 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,260 and getting the call from my mom that morning. 8 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,260 The sound of her voice, 9 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,100 the feeling of being stuck on that flight to Boston, 10 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:06,240 thinking, 11 00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:09,360 "How can this be?" 12 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,500 Say, "Hi, Sammy." Sammy. Hi, Sam. You want to blow a kiss at his 13 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:18,900 sissy? 14 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:22,820 Who's that, Ben? 15 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,320 Sam. Sam. He's your best buddy, huh? 16 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,300 If there's such thing 17 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,660 as a perfect other, 18 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:36,520 for me, 19 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:38,580 Sam was it. 20 00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:41,010 More than a brother, 21 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:44,070 Sam was my best friend. 22 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:49,400 He was like gravity, 23 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,140 subtle, 24 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:54,660 yet powerful. 25 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,520 He was always right there in the middle, 26 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,940 pulling us closer together, 27 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,140 making me laugh, 28 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,640 feel heard, 29 00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:11,300 feel loved. 30 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,140 A captain on the wrestling mat. 31 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:19,480 He showed me what dedication could achieve. 32 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,040 As a friend, 33 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,120 Sam reminded me 34 00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,140 that making time for those closest 35 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,400 is always worth it. 36 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:38,160 I don't know why. 37 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,580 I don't know why. 38 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,480 I share my life... 39 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,360 What breaks my heart the most 40 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,100 is the possibility 41 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,100 of what could have been. 42 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:51,660 One day, 43 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:54,540 he would be the best man at my wedding, 44 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:58,420 the uncle to my kids, 45 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:00,980 and I 46 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,460 would be the same for him. 47 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,450 But all of that possibility, 48 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,850 all of those plans, 49 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:14,860 all of those dreams 50 00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,360 were just like that, 51 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:19,700 reduced 52 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:21,160 to memory, 53 00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:23,440 and my gravity, 54 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:25,320 gone. 55 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,940 Thank 56 00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,160 God for friends. 57 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:49,660 They knew I was hurting 58 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,500 and wanted to help 59 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,240 the best way they knew how. 60 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:03,100 And seeing the world on motorcycles is what we did together. 61 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,320 First in Vietnam. 62 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,360 Then Turkey. 63 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,180 And now, 64 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:21,200 the Himalayas. 65 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,280 What could 10 days in these mountains teach me 66 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:30,600 to help me carry my broken heart? 67 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,500 Could Buddhism, 68 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,240 a faith native to these mountains 69 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,200 and one I knew little about, 70 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:46,080 help me find my gravity again? 71 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,280 They say in Buddhism, 72 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,240 no one can save you 73 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:29,680 but 74 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,480 yourself. 75 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,420 No one can, 76 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:36,380 and no one will. 77 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,390 The only question 78 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:41,700 is how? 79 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,680 Ashish was our guide, 80 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:51,940 a child of the Himalayas. Ashish was as connected 81 00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:55,540 to these mountains as the snow and stone. 82 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,220 The first day, everyone can see Leh to Lamayuru. 83 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,800 It's 114 kilometers 84 00:06:02,832 --> 00:06:06,292 And you said that might take three to four hours. 85 00:06:06,372 --> 00:06:06,761 Three to four hours? 86 00:06:06,762 --> 00:06:09,392 Three to four hours. Twisty terrain. 87 00:06:09,572 --> 00:06:13,472 It's not like straight roads. So sometimes you have to go on the first gear. 88 00:06:13,532 --> 00:06:15,032 Sometimes there are hairpin bends. 89 00:06:17,132 --> 00:06:19,032 Because Ashish knew about Sam, 90 00:06:20,602 --> 00:06:22,952 he set up a meeting with a local monk, 91 00:06:23,832 --> 00:06:27,032 hoping they might have the answers I was looking for. 92 00:06:36,912 --> 00:06:40,652 The reason I am on this journey, my younger brother 93 00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:43,552 passed away in a skiing accident. 94 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:44,292 I see. 95 00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:48,392 So my question is, what do you believe happens 96 00:06:49,412 --> 00:06:50,112 when you die? 97 00:06:50,592 --> 00:06:53,812 According to the Buddhism, we believe it is rebirth again, okay? 98 00:06:54,032 --> 00:06:56,932 Until and unless we have not 99 00:06:57,592 --> 00:07:00,812 purified our mind, still we are 100 00:07:00,872 --> 00:07:04,072 rebirthed in this wheel of life and existing. 101 00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:05,932 Sam is the name of my brother. 102 00:07:08,952 --> 00:07:10,732 What would happen to him, 103 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,212 for example? 104 00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:13,052 After death, 105 00:07:14,212 --> 00:07:15,672 everything is dependent upon their 106 00:07:16,492 --> 00:07:19,672 karma, their actions. But everything is 107 00:07:19,912 --> 00:07:23,672 create our own mind. For example, the 108 00:07:23,892 --> 00:07:27,052 suffering. Why we make a suffering? 109 00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:30,372 Why we will be more suffering? We will feel more suffering. 110 00:07:31,372 --> 00:07:34,752 Because we have a lot of attachment. 111 00:07:35,632 --> 00:07:39,392 Attachment create some anger, some suffering in 112 00:07:39,432 --> 00:07:43,372 our life. So suppose one person will be dying, we just crying 113 00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:47,292 for that. We remember our parents will be dying, our brothers and our sister and 114 00:07:47,472 --> 00:07:51,332 our friends, but we are crying. If you will reduce 115 00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:53,632 these negativities things in our mind, 116 00:07:55,172 --> 00:07:55,352 then 117 00:07:56,212 --> 00:07:59,562 there's no more any suffering. Because a dead person, 118 00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:00,872 because... 119 00:08:08,812 --> 00:08:09,172 Sorry. 120 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:11,991 I'm sorry. 121 00:08:12,132 --> 00:08:12,341 It's 122 00:08:12,672 --> 00:08:16,432 okay. 123 00:08:21,912 --> 00:08:25,812 Suffering is a creation of my own mind. 124 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,172 And therefore, 125 00:08:32,732 --> 00:08:33,452 my pain 126 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,352 is my choice? 127 00:08:39,913 --> 00:08:41,432 Can I choose not to suffer 128 00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:44,452 if I choose not to love? 129 00:08:49,432 --> 00:08:50,632 But what kind of life 130 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,352 is one without love? 131 00:10:19,532 --> 00:10:21,232 Why don't people talk about death? 132 00:10:25,152 --> 00:10:26,252 They put it in a box 133 00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:28,632 and forget about it. 134 00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:34,492 I couldn't do that. 135 00:10:47,132 --> 00:10:47,972 All right, what's up, Adrian? 136 00:10:48,152 --> 00:10:49,172 What's up? 137 00:10:49,872 --> 00:10:50,432 How you doing, buddy? 138 00:10:50,752 --> 00:10:51,352 I'm doing good. 139 00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:51,832 Yeah. 140 00:10:52,532 --> 00:10:53,292 How was that for you, huh? 141 00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:57,412 We're already a fourth of the way there. 142 00:10:57,812 --> 00:10:58,452 Really? 143 00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,212 I'll show you the maps. 144 00:10:59,472 --> 00:11:02,972 Do we want to get there early? It would be nice to be able to get there, settle, go 145 00:11:03,012 --> 00:11:03,892 to the monastery. 146 00:11:07,772 --> 00:11:08,292 How much 147 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,852 can a map really tell you? 148 00:11:13,032 --> 00:11:14,832 Because on a motorcycle, 149 00:11:15,972 --> 00:11:17,972 you don't know what's around the next turn. 150 00:11:19,492 --> 00:11:21,451 It forces you to let go. 151 00:11:23,872 --> 00:11:27,232 And even though it's my hands steering the 152 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:27,892 motorcycle, 153 00:11:29,372 --> 00:11:30,012 it's Sam 154 00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:32,092 who's the heartbeat, 155 00:11:34,052 --> 00:11:34,652 the motor. 156 00:12:24,362 --> 00:12:36,071 This 157 00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:38,482 is Samuel J. calling for Benjamin A. 158 00:12:40,002 --> 00:12:40,722 Hope all is well, 159 00:12:41,982 --> 00:12:45,362 and give me a ring either tonight or tomorrow. 160 00:12:46,122 --> 00:12:48,842 I'll talk to you soon. Hope you feel better. Love you. 161 00:12:48,982 --> 00:12:55,902 Bye. 162 00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:07,882 If you were in the conversation, I think you'd be able to just steer 163 00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:09,962 us, so it was like- 164 00:13:10,742 --> 00:13:11,872 Yeah. The only problem with last night is I- 165 00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:13,612 No, our brains were noodle dust. 166 00:13:13,622 --> 00:13:13,962 Yeah. 167 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:14,342 Totally. 168 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:17,122 I was impressed by you because I was sitting there trying to keep my head up. 169 00:13:17,582 --> 00:13:21,142 Yeah, it was tough. I hope I didn't make a fool out of 170 00:13:21,182 --> 00:13:25,042 myself because I was asking him probably the most basic Buddhist 171 00:13:25,062 --> 00:13:25,602 principles. 172 00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:29,632 Yeah, those guys are about education and you know. 173 00:13:29,782 --> 00:13:30,022 I know. 174 00:13:30,062 --> 00:13:30,712 Better keep your lights on, so. 175 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,022 I guess that's just my own insecurity coming through. 176 00:14:06,782 --> 00:14:10,582 This is Tuesday, the 25th of July, 2022. 177 00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,122 Day two. We are in 178 00:14:13,942 --> 00:14:17,882 Lamayuru. I cannot pronounce the name of this town for 179 00:14:17,922 --> 00:14:18,682 the life of me. 180 00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:28,522 I just left the Lamayuru Monastery, and it 181 00:14:28,622 --> 00:14:29,002 was 182 00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:30,601 intense. 183 00:14:39,032 --> 00:14:42,782 I can't understand the words that they're saying, and I felt 184 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:46,622 the energy in the room of togetherness, 185 00:14:48,022 --> 00:14:51,762 and that's what I felt with Sam, is that bond of 186 00:14:51,802 --> 00:14:54,922 brothers, that team, that together spirit. 187 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,262 I couldn't help but just 188 00:15:01,102 --> 00:15:03,002 let the emotion pour out of me. 189 00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:09,742 Ben, he's had a tough year. 190 00:15:13,442 --> 00:15:15,342 Ben is doing a lot more 191 00:15:16,202 --> 00:15:18,562 of the spiritual exploration than I think Kyle and I are doing, 192 00:15:19,582 --> 00:15:22,602 and I don't think that this would be something I would want to do 193 00:15:23,662 --> 00:15:27,602 this quickly after that. From my perspective, I lost my father in 194 00:15:27,762 --> 00:15:30,622 2018. I almost wanted not to talk about it. 195 00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:31,782 I wanted to not really deal with it. 196 00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:36,002 From my point of view, I was looking more for escapism. 197 00:15:37,822 --> 00:15:39,242 And Ben's going the opposite tact. 198 00:15:39,282 --> 00:15:42,582 He wants to come here and explore the similarities between 199 00:15:43,322 --> 00:15:47,242 his home and Sam and here, which is a completely 200 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:48,142 foreign spot. 201 00:15:50,802 --> 00:15:52,302 So we'll see where this ride takes us. 202 00:16:06,802 --> 00:16:08,522 Is this the last 203 00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:09,532 mountain- 204 00:16:09,662 --> 00:16:09,762 Peak 205 00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:10,422 ... we're on today? 206 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:10,922 I think so. 207 00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:11,282 Or we have one more? 208 00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:14,102 Yes. This was the second pass, and then it's downhill into the valley. 209 00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:15,522 But we have one more little... 210 00:16:16,462 --> 00:16:16,642 Do we? 211 00:16:16,902 --> 00:16:20,002 Yeah, but it's nothing like this. It's apparently just over that saddle over there. 212 00:16:21,002 --> 00:16:22,162 Anybody want a cookie? 213 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,422 I'm solid. 214 00:16:25,122 --> 00:16:26,442 Did you get those at the monastery? 215 00:16:26,962 --> 00:16:27,122 Yeah. 216 00:16:28,102 --> 00:16:28,112 Mm. 217 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,262 These are monastery biscuits. 218 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:30,242 So do you feel holy? 219 00:16:30,812 --> 00:16:30,882 No. 220 00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:40,922 What would Sam say about all this? 221 00:16:45,702 --> 00:16:47,862 Was this how I was supposed to mourn him? 222 00:16:52,902 --> 00:16:54,222 Is there even a right way 223 00:16:55,522 --> 00:16:56,562 to mourn a loved one, 224 00:16:59,102 --> 00:16:59,362 or 225 00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:03,942 was I doing this all wrong? 226 00:17:31,962 --> 00:17:35,722 Z, we are in Kargil. Just completed our second day of 227 00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:36,162 riding. 228 00:17:37,162 --> 00:17:39,422 Got Ashish and our boy Dalex. 229 00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:41,542 How was our riding today? 230 00:17:41,722 --> 00:17:42,622 Riding was quite good. 231 00:17:42,822 --> 00:17:43,050 Very good? 232 00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:44,282 Very good, sir. 233 00:17:44,402 --> 00:17:47,382 Ooh, nice. Yeah, we have the training wheels off. 234 00:17:49,422 --> 00:17:52,402 I don't know about tomorrow, because you're going to get f****d tomorrow. 235 00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:53,682 Yeah, we're going to get f****d tomorrow. 236 00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:55,922 So be prepared for that, guys. 237 00:17:56,562 --> 00:17:57,882 What makes you say we're going to get f****d? 238 00:17:58,262 --> 00:17:59,022 What constitutes f*****g? 239 00:17:59,032 --> 00:18:03,002 A lot of off-roads, man. A lot of river, a lot of stones, a lot of water, a lot 240 00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,202 of sand. You name it. 241 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,702 Is tomorrow the hardest day? 242 00:18:06,282 --> 00:18:06,842 No. 243 00:18:09,582 --> 00:18:13,562 You ever led a group where you felt they were not quite prepared for the 244 00:18:13,622 --> 00:18:13,922 riding? 245 00:18:14,222 --> 00:18:15,202 You guys. 246 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:15,642 What? 247 00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:20,062 Oh, come on. 248 00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:48,032 This is the last filling station for gas for the next week. 249 00:18:48,632 --> 00:18:52,372 We've got to load up because after this, we are out in the wild. 250 00:18:52,592 --> 00:18:55,772 There's no opportunity. If we are out of gas, we are out of luck. 251 00:18:56,112 --> 00:18:56,372 This 252 00:18:57,212 --> 00:19:00,952 is starting to set in that we are going to be way out in the middle of 253 00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:01,432 nowhere. 254 00:19:30,492 --> 00:19:33,032 My life will always be divided 255 00:19:34,012 --> 00:19:35,292 by my time with Sam 256 00:19:36,152 --> 00:19:37,612 and my time after Sam. 257 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,072 But will my life also be defined by that? 258 00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:54,262 How deep is the water? 259 00:20:00,072 --> 00:20:03,962 We get stopped at this checkpoint in Sankoo, and we get news 260 00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:06,852 that a glacier burst. And I don't know which one it is. 261 00:20:06,892 --> 00:20:09,052 I don't know how many kilometers up the road it is. 262 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:12,252 All right. If this is completely axed, then we have to come back this way, right? 263 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,092 Yeah, if we can't go here- 264 00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:16,032 Like Sam- ... do we have to go back to Kargil? 265 00:20:16,912 --> 00:20:18,262 We will go there. Don't worry, guys. 266 00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:18,862 We'll make it? 267 00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:19,572 We will make it. 268 00:20:20,232 --> 00:20:23,552 We got stopped here because the village doesn't want people 269 00:20:24,052 --> 00:20:24,772 running through 270 00:20:25,832 --> 00:20:29,812 because if they do, they think the government's not going to clear the main road 271 00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:31,892 because now they have a solution. 272 00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:36,481 Mayor of the city is having a conversation with a government official, 273 00:20:37,352 --> 00:20:39,732 and I don't think it's going great. 274 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:42,432 Hopefully, they can come to a reasonable solution. 275 00:20:42,462 --> 00:20:44,332 Got to reach Rangdum. 276 00:20:45,232 --> 00:20:48,872 Gotta make it fast, guy. Have to reach 277 00:20:48,912 --> 00:20:49,952 Rangdum. 278 00:20:50,772 --> 00:20:53,732 Gotta ride pretty fast today. 279 00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:02,952 Singing my blues in the middle of nowhere with my brother, 280 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:03,732 good to- 281 00:21:34,512 --> 00:21:35,352 How do you brace 282 00:21:36,252 --> 00:21:37,292 for the unimaginable? 283 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:42,532 For losing Sam. 284 00:21:50,462 --> 00:21:51,152 What's going on? 285 00:21:52,232 --> 00:21:52,612 What happened? 286 00:21:53,852 --> 00:21:54,432 Is everyone okay? 287 00:21:54,612 --> 00:21:56,452 Sahil, he's going to need a Band-Aid on his nose. 288 00:21:57,552 --> 00:21:59,992 We stopped at a police checkpoint. They said road closed to Rangdum. 289 00:22:01,952 --> 00:22:02,812 One hit after another, huh? 290 00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:09,132 We got weather coming over the ridge. We got a wait till the road opens up. 291 00:22:09,552 --> 00:22:10,752 We have a car that could use some- 292 00:22:11,152 --> 00:22:12,172 A couple hours of work 293 00:22:12,182 --> 00:22:16,012 ... TLC. Yeah. And worst case scenario, we get stuck down 294 00:22:16,052 --> 00:22:19,592 there in rain or something, roads that aren't passable in a car that's- 295 00:22:20,492 --> 00:22:20,872 At night. 296 00:22:21,392 --> 00:22:21,401 Yeah. 297 00:22:21,402 --> 00:22:22,232 You can hear the rain. 298 00:22:22,892 --> 00:22:23,492 Yeah. 299 00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:23,812 Wow. 300 00:22:24,232 --> 00:22:24,912 You can see the rain. 301 00:22:25,232 --> 00:22:25,352 Yeah. 302 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,452 So that's my thought. 303 00:22:30,032 --> 00:22:32,611 There's no need to be a hero. This is the early day. 304 00:22:33,512 --> 00:22:34,272 I hear you. 305 00:22:36,832 --> 00:22:37,092 That's 306 00:22:39,052 --> 00:22:41,092 where we're at. We're here in the noodle shack. 307 00:22:41,212 --> 00:22:42,552 In the noodle shack. 308 00:22:43,572 --> 00:22:46,192 I really hope that camera picked up the thunder. 309 00:22:46,952 --> 00:22:47,372 That was- 310 00:22:47,382 --> 00:22:47,772 It's not raining. 311 00:22:48,212 --> 00:22:48,692 It's not raining? 312 00:22:49,532 --> 00:22:50,772 It sounds like it might rain. 313 00:22:51,372 --> 00:22:52,192 It sounds like that. 314 00:22:52,432 --> 00:22:53,332 Because that was loud. 315 00:22:54,112 --> 00:22:54,591 It sounds like that. 316 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,932 Ashish, you're going to tell me that that's not rain? 317 00:22:58,152 --> 00:22:58,812 When we ride ahead, 318 00:22:59,772 --> 00:23:01,112 the weather will be clearer. 319 00:23:31,652 --> 00:23:33,092 My visibility sucks. 320 00:23:33,172 --> 00:23:34,552 Yeah. That's why I just got... 321 00:24:18,742 --> 00:24:20,352 How can you not feel small 322 00:24:21,972 --> 00:24:23,122 when you're surrounded by 323 00:24:23,152 --> 00:24:27,832 - giants? - The 324 00:24:27,892 --> 00:24:28,432 cold, 325 00:24:29,572 --> 00:24:30,372 the pain, 326 00:24:32,312 --> 00:24:33,532 even the heartache 327 00:24:34,952 --> 00:24:35,472 all felt 328 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,172 insignificant. 329 00:24:39,992 --> 00:24:41,732 You start to lose yourself. 330 00:24:55,952 --> 00:24:56,332 Wow. 331 00:25:03,952 --> 00:25:05,692 It does not get much better than that. 332 00:25:18,352 --> 00:25:20,932 We were mentally behind the eight ball all day. 333 00:25:21,512 --> 00:25:25,472 I never felt like we were in control of today, which I think it 334 00:25:25,492 --> 00:25:26,172 just wore on me. 335 00:25:26,312 --> 00:25:26,892 It made it worse. 336 00:25:27,792 --> 00:25:31,252 When you're riding, you've got the motorbike is the stimulus, right? 337 00:25:31,312 --> 00:25:31,412 Yeah. 338 00:25:32,512 --> 00:25:36,452 Then you're riding in the Himalayas, and you've got the mountains, and the bike 339 00:25:36,462 --> 00:25:37,632 kind of takes a backseat. 340 00:25:37,692 --> 00:25:38,582 Yes. 341 00:25:38,852 --> 00:25:39,912 Then you have the rain, 342 00:25:40,992 --> 00:25:44,652 and everything else just falls away, and it's just, 343 00:25:44,662 --> 00:25:47,432 "Okay, keep this bike from dropping. 344 00:25:48,132 --> 00:25:51,532 Get to our destination." And then you finally get here, and you appreciate 345 00:25:51,632 --> 00:25:53,772 that s**t. 346 00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:54,092 Yeah. 347 00:25:54,182 --> 00:25:55,032 Are you kidding me? 348 00:25:55,152 --> 00:25:56,151 Look someone painted that. 349 00:25:57,572 --> 00:25:58,092 Take your pick. 350 00:25:59,612 --> 00:26:00,152 You got one, 351 00:26:01,272 --> 00:26:02,992 two, three, 352 00:26:03,952 --> 00:26:04,292 four. 353 00:26:49,132 --> 00:26:51,072 It is day four. 354 00:26:52,932 --> 00:26:53,992 I wonder if 355 00:26:54,972 --> 00:26:58,952 this trip was just too much too soon, 356 00:27:01,752 --> 00:27:05,392 or if I needed to do this to just keep living. 357 00:27:07,992 --> 00:27:10,212 I went into it thinking I was going to sit down 358 00:27:11,112 --> 00:27:14,512 with some monks, and they were going to tell me something that 359 00:27:15,292 --> 00:27:19,192 is unique to their religion, their culture, 360 00:27:19,612 --> 00:27:21,812 that would just unlock something 361 00:27:23,412 --> 00:27:24,852 in my brain, in my heart. 362 00:27:26,372 --> 00:27:27,072 Not the case. 363 00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:29,742 No. 364 00:27:31,152 --> 00:27:31,772 Because 365 00:27:32,592 --> 00:27:33,512 no matter what, 366 00:27:37,852 --> 00:27:38,452 Sam's gone. 367 00:27:42,192 --> 00:27:46,172 It's sort of the nature of Buddhism, and I think that's part of the power of 368 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:49,732 it, that you are the illusion. 369 00:27:50,692 --> 00:27:51,652 And the more you 370 00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:57,072 can embrace that idea, the more present 371 00:27:57,172 --> 00:28:01,152 you become, but simultaneously, the less connected to others you become 372 00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:01,692 because 373 00:28:02,712 --> 00:28:05,592 it seems while you may be compassionate 374 00:28:06,692 --> 00:28:09,712 and you might be kind to others, it implies 375 00:28:09,792 --> 00:28:11,592 that family 376 00:28:13,032 --> 00:28:16,152 is also an illusion, 377 00:28:17,172 --> 00:28:17,592 and 378 00:28:18,432 --> 00:28:20,272 your connection to those people 379 00:28:21,492 --> 00:28:22,892 is also it. 380 00:28:26,512 --> 00:28:27,752 I can't believe that. 381 00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,212 Before Sam died, 382 00:29:03,152 --> 00:29:04,232 life had a plan. 383 00:29:05,992 --> 00:29:09,832 We would share in the joys and challenges of 384 00:29:09,952 --> 00:29:10,332 life. 385 00:29:13,672 --> 00:29:14,212 And now, 386 00:29:15,332 --> 00:29:15,892 without him, 387 00:29:17,152 --> 00:29:18,112 why does it feel like 388 00:29:19,052 --> 00:29:20,592 all of that never 389 00:29:21,432 --> 00:29:22,052 existed? 390 00:29:43,252 --> 00:29:45,452 If my relationship with Sam 391 00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:47,572 was an illusion, 392 00:29:49,312 --> 00:29:52,732 then it's an illusion that I choose to believe. 393 00:29:55,192 --> 00:29:56,072 And if I believe it, 394 00:29:58,152 --> 00:29:58,972 isn't that enough? 395 00:30:23,042 --> 00:30:24,372 So this is last night. 396 00:30:25,332 --> 00:30:27,352 The bridge that we were supposed to cross 397 00:30:27,552 --> 00:30:31,428 today-Got washed away. Heavy 398 00:30:31,528 --> 00:30:33,788 rain, heavy meltage from the glacier. 399 00:30:34,308 --> 00:30:38,088 This steel structure just toppled over, 400 00:30:38,708 --> 00:30:40,588 and now we can't make it to Purne. 401 00:31:05,578 --> 00:31:06,488 In this village, 402 00:31:07,448 --> 00:31:11,368 Ashish told us there was a monk who built the very 403 00:31:11,428 --> 00:31:13,288 mountain pass we rode on. 404 00:31:15,008 --> 00:31:17,168 And when you're stuck like we were, 405 00:31:18,608 --> 00:31:21,368 sometimes you have to look inside 406 00:31:22,308 --> 00:31:23,328 to find your way out. 407 00:31:28,808 --> 00:31:32,768 I understand you completed 40 kilometers of 408 00:31:33,028 --> 00:31:33,148 the 409 00:31:35,588 --> 00:31:38,328 pass between Purne and Manali. 410 00:31:39,728 --> 00:31:42,668 Can you tell me about what motivated you to 411 00:31:43,508 --> 00:31:43,928 do that? 412 00:31:44,808 --> 00:31:48,788 They started the road because the school kids 413 00:31:48,828 --> 00:31:51,888 with their bag and all, they had a lot of problem while coming here. 414 00:31:52,408 --> 00:31:55,988 That rocky valley has turned into a flat road right now, 415 00:31:56,768 --> 00:32:00,588 and it's very easy for the people to communicate because of 416 00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:00,888 him. 417 00:32:01,108 --> 00:32:04,808 Wow. So it was him and his brothers who did the road. It wasn't just him. 418 00:32:05,148 --> 00:32:08,478 And two years before getting the Padma Shri award, his 419 00:32:09,248 --> 00:32:13,128 elder brother passed away. And one month before getting Padma Shri, his 420 00:32:14,108 --> 00:32:15,688 younger brother passed away. 421 00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:16,848 So 422 00:32:17,768 --> 00:32:20,828 how do you deal with death and grief? 423 00:32:22,668 --> 00:32:26,508 Educate yourself as much as possible, but don't forget the culture. 424 00:32:26,688 --> 00:32:27,608 Don't forget your roots. 425 00:32:28,528 --> 00:32:30,768 Always do good things and don't do bad things. 426 00:32:30,848 --> 00:32:33,328 If you do bad things, some or the other day, you have to pay back. 427 00:32:33,568 --> 00:32:35,048 So why not do good in life? 428 00:32:36,808 --> 00:32:41,188 He 429 00:32:41,228 --> 00:32:44,028 said that it's good to have a brother. 430 00:32:44,988 --> 00:32:48,628 He's like a companion because when nobody asks you or 431 00:32:49,288 --> 00:32:52,928 ready to help you, your brother will always be there to help you. 432 00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:58,948 He's like the closest friend you'll ever have in your life. 433 00:33:13,057 --> 00:33:15,548 I don't know if I believe in fate. 434 00:33:18,528 --> 00:33:21,248 How could what happened to Sam be so? 435 00:33:24,028 --> 00:33:24,628 But still, 436 00:33:25,748 --> 00:33:27,948 it felt like fate to meet M.A. 437 00:33:30,608 --> 00:33:30,928 Or 438 00:33:32,968 --> 00:33:34,768 was I just grasping at straws? 439 00:33:45,078 --> 00:33:46,188 I wouldn't have met M.A. 440 00:33:47,548 --> 00:33:51,528 if we hadn't gotten stuck. It reminded me 441 00:33:52,808 --> 00:33:53,588 to stay open. 442 00:33:57,088 --> 00:33:59,188 All right. One day later than expected, 443 00:34:00,108 --> 00:34:02,428 we're headed out of Padum, headed to Purne. 444 00:34:02,648 --> 00:34:04,708 The bridge is fixed, supposedly. 445 00:34:11,609 --> 00:34:12,149 Here we go. 446 00:34:14,728 --> 00:34:20,138 We're 447 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:21,788 going over the bridge that was 448 00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:23,669 washed down 449 00:34:24,728 --> 00:34:25,428 yesterday. 450 00:34:27,149 --> 00:34:27,988 Made it across. 451 00:34:29,208 --> 00:34:32,328 Well, I guess they did a good job. Oh, boy. 452 00:34:33,028 --> 00:34:34,328 That's a little sketchy. 453 00:35:05,088 --> 00:35:05,788 And we're up. 454 00:35:07,068 --> 00:35:07,688 All right. 455 00:35:12,628 --> 00:35:16,488 You know, talking to the elder man, M.A., it was 456 00:35:17,608 --> 00:35:20,008 really eye-opening just how 457 00:35:21,308 --> 00:35:22,708 there are certain things that just 458 00:35:23,868 --> 00:35:27,798 help you heal. For him, it was his work that kept him 459 00:35:27,928 --> 00:35:30,208 motivated, his ability to 460 00:35:31,488 --> 00:35:34,908 keep building the highway. In Judaism, you call it mitzvah. 461 00:35:35,828 --> 00:35:39,748 And it just reminded me of how I ought to be more 462 00:35:40,608 --> 00:35:43,008 kind every day and caring. 463 00:35:44,508 --> 00:35:44,728 So 464 00:35:45,768 --> 00:35:46,808 let the hike begin. 465 00:35:50,328 --> 00:35:51,168 Sam and I did a 466 00:35:52,288 --> 00:35:55,928 28-mile hike around Yosemite 467 00:35:56,028 --> 00:35:58,108 National Park. We had a tent 468 00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:01,108 in Curry Village. Got up the next morning, 469 00:36:01,948 --> 00:36:02,268 4:00 a.m., 470 00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:03,868 headlamps. 471 00:36:04,708 --> 00:36:07,948 So by 7:00 a.m., we were at Glacier Point. We were cruising. 472 00:36:08,908 --> 00:36:11,477 Sammy, he was in incredibly good shape, 473 00:36:12,788 --> 00:36:14,028 and he just had that 474 00:36:15,888 --> 00:36:18,828 spirit. He had that, "You know what, Benny? 475 00:36:18,868 --> 00:36:21,068 We're going to do this. We're going to do this." 476 00:36:22,308 --> 00:36:22,688 We go, 477 00:36:23,568 --> 00:36:24,308 summited it. 478 00:36:25,948 --> 00:36:27,148 8,200 feet. 479 00:36:28,768 --> 00:36:29,788 And it's those memories 480 00:36:31,668 --> 00:36:32,148 that are so 481 00:36:32,228 --> 00:36:38,516 goodIt 482 00:36:38,556 --> 00:36:39,336 makes me happy 483 00:36:43,316 --> 00:36:45,076 to have had Sam in my life. 484 00:36:47,816 --> 00:36:48,376 Of course, 485 00:36:50,396 --> 00:36:51,256 I feel robbed. 486 00:36:55,496 --> 00:36:56,196 How can you not? 487 00:37:15,756 --> 00:37:17,256 This place seems to be deserted. 488 00:37:36,256 --> 00:37:37,296 So this is the highest temple. 489 00:37:38,236 --> 00:37:38,676 Highest? 490 00:37:38,906 --> 00:37:40,776 Highest. The highest temple of the monastery. 491 00:38:06,556 --> 00:38:07,156 How old are they? 492 00:38:08,396 --> 00:38:08,576 Oh. 493 00:38:09,476 --> 00:38:10,036 97. 494 00:38:11,596 --> 00:38:12,076 97. 495 00:38:12,446 --> 00:38:13,136 97? What brings them here? 496 00:38:15,176 --> 00:38:21,456 And 497 00:38:21,476 --> 00:38:23,346 they walk all the way just to have a glimpse 498 00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:25,036 of him. 499 00:38:37,996 --> 00:38:41,156 Even though Sam and I will never go hiking 500 00:38:41,196 --> 00:38:43,696 together at age 97, 501 00:38:45,396 --> 00:38:45,976 that hike 502 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:47,975 unlocked something. 503 00:38:49,996 --> 00:38:52,816 I realized, as long as I have the memories, 504 00:38:54,256 --> 00:38:55,076 how far away 505 00:38:56,076 --> 00:38:58,356 can Sam ever really be? 506 00:39:05,256 --> 00:39:06,736 Good morning, Purni. 507 00:39:06,846 --> 00:39:07,396 What time is it? 508 00:39:08,236 --> 00:39:09,044 5:30. 509 00:39:09,045 --> 00:39:12,856 5:30. 5:30 a.m. Sun is just working its way over the 510 00:39:12,936 --> 00:39:14,176 far side of the mountains. 511 00:39:15,856 --> 00:39:18,016 Today is when we conquer the Zanskar Valley. 512 00:39:19,056 --> 00:39:20,636 You could say this is our make or break day. 513 00:39:22,716 --> 00:39:24,996 May I walk through the valley of the shadow of death 514 00:39:26,536 --> 00:39:27,836 and I will fear no evil, 515 00:39:29,096 --> 00:39:30,216 for Sam is with me. 516 00:39:32,176 --> 00:39:33,256 He watches over me. 517 00:39:35,176 --> 00:39:36,056 He protects me. 518 00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:43,256 I keep thinking about just wanting to trust the bike- 519 00:39:43,576 --> 00:39:43,666 Yeah 520 00:39:43,716 --> 00:39:47,686 ... and not being able to trust the bike on certain turns, like snowboarding and 521 00:39:47,716 --> 00:39:49,506 my brother's accident, and it's just like, 522 00:39:50,836 --> 00:39:54,456 I don't know. It sucks, because you got to trust your equipment a little bit, but 523 00:39:54,496 --> 00:39:57,556 to truly trust whether it's your bike or your skis, 524 00:39:58,516 --> 00:40:00,376 you have to go over the line. 525 00:40:00,996 --> 00:40:01,196 Yeah. 526 00:40:01,236 --> 00:40:03,896 You got to drop, you got to fall to know where that limit is. 527 00:40:04,216 --> 00:40:05,536 That's the lottery of life right there. 528 00:40:30,936 --> 00:40:32,596 Am I irresponsible 529 00:40:34,196 --> 00:40:35,396 or even selfish 530 00:40:36,576 --> 00:40:38,076 to still ride a motorcycle? 531 00:40:42,776 --> 00:40:44,396 I do worry for my parents. 532 00:40:47,836 --> 00:40:48,796 But at what point 533 00:40:49,936 --> 00:40:51,956 do I just stop living? 534 00:41:00,245 --> 00:41:01,096 Survivor's guilt 535 00:41:01,956 --> 00:41:03,476 weighs heavy on my 536 00:41:03,496 --> 00:41:11,176 heart. 537 00:41:13,836 --> 00:41:14,276 Your shoulder? 538 00:41:15,756 --> 00:41:16,096 Yo. 539 00:41:30,276 --> 00:41:31,136 Turski. 540 00:41:31,176 --> 00:41:31,596 My dude. 541 00:41:32,016 --> 00:41:35,146 I was also stuck back there. That's why I couldn't get my s**t down to come to you 542 00:41:35,196 --> 00:41:35,576 faster. 543 00:41:36,676 --> 00:41:37,916 It was a s****y situation, man. 544 00:41:38,756 --> 00:41:40,026 No, I get you. Literally like- 545 00:41:40,036 --> 00:41:42,116 I'm going slow because we're going through mud. What do you want me to do, man? 546 00:41:42,156 --> 00:41:44,016 I'm not going to speed up because I'm going to make you go up on our back. 547 00:41:45,216 --> 00:41:48,755 Like go in front, dude. I will follow. 548 00:41:48,816 --> 00:41:51,285 I'm not going to speed up because I don't feel comfortable going that fast. 549 00:41:51,286 --> 00:41:53,016 Clearly, that was not a good place to go faster. 550 00:41:54,776 --> 00:41:57,536 I think what we need to do now, though, is not be idiots. 551 00:41:58,956 --> 00:41:59,486 Bro, we're in the s**t of it, 552 00:41:59,576 --> 00:42:04,616 right? 553 00:42:09,116 --> 00:42:13,066 The roads are in tough shape, and we just got word that Sarchu, our destination, 554 00:42:13,096 --> 00:42:16,876 is -10 degrees Celsius. So we got to make a decision. 555 00:42:16,976 --> 00:42:20,756 Do we stay here, let the storm pass, which 556 00:42:20,796 --> 00:42:24,436 puts us at risk of potentially not being able to make it over the 557 00:42:24,516 --> 00:42:26,056 snow-covered roads, or 558 00:42:26,896 --> 00:42:27,976 do we go right now? 559 00:42:28,846 --> 00:42:29,276 What do you think? 560 00:42:57,066 --> 00:43:00,186 The good news is it's so cold, the mud isn't as muddy. 561 00:43:18,766 --> 00:43:19,406 Back up. 562 00:43:29,826 --> 00:43:33,306 There's another switchback. We can't pass him. He's not going to stop for us. 563 00:44:11,486 --> 00:44:15,346 It's f*****g July. This is 564 00:44:15,426 --> 00:44:17,706 a borderline survival situation here. 565 00:44:41,086 --> 00:44:44,006 Come in, guys. They have something warming. 566 00:44:44,126 --> 00:44:45,066 I'm shivering. 567 00:44:49,706 --> 00:44:50,046 Wow. 568 00:44:52,946 --> 00:44:55,546 The Himalayas threw everything possible at us. 569 00:44:56,726 --> 00:44:57,626 100-degree heat. 570 00:44:58,186 --> 00:44:58,786 Knock on wood. 571 00:44:58,846 --> 00:44:59,286 Rain. 572 00:45:00,426 --> 00:45:02,946 We're still not technically out of it, so knock on wood. 573 00:45:03,606 --> 00:45:05,866 And now just horizontal snow. 574 00:45:09,126 --> 00:45:09,866 Feels pretty good. 575 00:45:09,926 --> 00:45:11,366 Okay, guys. We're different now. 576 00:45:11,426 --> 00:45:12,946 This is your fans that you- 577 00:45:13,026 --> 00:45:14,206 We're different. You know what I mean? 578 00:45:14,286 --> 00:45:14,666 Take your socks off. 579 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:15,454 You know what I mean? 580 00:45:15,455 --> 00:45:15,726 What? 581 00:45:15,766 --> 00:45:16,186 We're different now. 582 00:45:16,366 --> 00:45:17,286 It's not that cold. 583 00:45:17,426 --> 00:45:19,976 No, it's not. We're going to come back here sometime. 584 00:45:20,016 --> 00:45:22,646 What do you think the temperature is right now? 585 00:45:24,786 --> 00:45:28,166 Well, it's not snowing outside, so it has to be above 32. 586 00:45:28,886 --> 00:45:31,326 But not by much. 587 00:45:33,426 --> 00:45:33,486 I 588 00:45:34,306 --> 00:45:35,946 feel very happy right now. 589 00:45:36,666 --> 00:45:37,606 Nothing's blue, right? 590 00:45:38,466 --> 00:45:39,626 Despite the physical pain, 591 00:45:40,486 --> 00:45:44,146 the sense of accomplishment is very 592 00:45:44,266 --> 00:45:44,486 real. 593 00:45:44,966 --> 00:45:45,746 It's one for the books. 594 00:45:46,026 --> 00:45:46,775 This is definitely one for the books. 595 00:45:46,776 --> 00:45:47,506 One for the books. 596 00:45:47,946 --> 00:45:51,606 And in fairness, Ashish did tell us that today was going to be our hardest day. 597 00:45:52,106 --> 00:45:55,066 Snow wasn't even in consideration in this trip. 598 00:45:55,326 --> 00:45:55,566 No. 599 00:45:56,146 --> 00:45:58,966 I didn't even acknowledge that as a possibility. 600 00:46:00,106 --> 00:46:01,006 Bill went first. 601 00:46:07,146 --> 00:46:07,386 Here we go. 602 00:46:18,886 --> 00:46:21,326 Why was I able to ride away from that mountain, 603 00:46:23,066 --> 00:46:23,966 and Sam wasn't 604 00:46:25,046 --> 00:46:25,686 from his? 605 00:46:29,106 --> 00:46:30,846 One foot to the left 606 00:46:32,066 --> 00:46:32,806 or to the right, 607 00:46:34,106 --> 00:46:34,766 he lives. 608 00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:42,486 I torture myself not knowing what happened in 609 00:46:42,506 --> 00:46:43,526 those final moments. 610 00:47:02,006 --> 00:47:04,026 Good morning, Garcha. 611 00:47:05,966 --> 00:47:06,585 I guess now 612 00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:09,145 I have a guardian angel. 613 00:47:10,526 --> 00:47:11,046 Pavement. 614 00:47:12,006 --> 00:47:13,546 Slightly wet, mostly comfortable. 615 00:47:13,686 --> 00:47:15,166 Yeah. It's so far so good. 616 00:47:16,686 --> 00:47:18,906 If it stays like this all day, we're in great shape. 617 00:47:19,846 --> 00:47:20,126 Shall we? 618 00:47:32,746 --> 00:47:34,346 The thing about a guardian angel 619 00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:37,266 is you have to listen to them. 620 00:47:40,106 --> 00:47:41,846 And if I listen closely enough, 621 00:47:43,286 --> 00:47:45,246 I can still hear Sam's voice 622 00:47:47,366 --> 00:47:47,966 guiding me, 623 00:47:49,546 --> 00:47:50,266 leading me. 624 00:47:52,806 --> 00:47:55,486 And can that brokenness be healed now 625 00:47:56,526 --> 00:47:59,466 that I can visit Sam in my heart? 626 00:48:31,626 --> 00:48:32,026 Cheesing. 627 00:48:39,046 --> 00:48:40,446 We are in Sarchu, 628 00:48:41,346 --> 00:48:43,446 and this is where we were supposed to end last night. 629 00:48:44,166 --> 00:48:44,946 So altitude, 630 00:48:45,986 --> 00:48:48,766 it's backwards, but it says 14,000 feet above sea level. 631 00:48:49,006 --> 00:48:50,286 A lowly 14,000. 632 00:48:50,686 --> 00:48:52,546 Feels like we're basically at sea level. 633 00:48:53,246 --> 00:48:54,006 On a sunny day 634 00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:58,098 And weather's cooperating, we would've made it from Purni to here, 635 00:48:58,698 --> 00:49:01,398 but we just had too much thrown at us. 636 00:49:01,478 --> 00:49:03,698 Oh, egg omelet on toast. 637 00:49:11,698 --> 00:49:12,838 It's not Heinz, 638 00:49:13,738 --> 00:49:16,178 it's Hems. Tastes pretty good. 639 00:50:52,478 --> 00:50:55,598 Well, we're back on track, boys. We have arrived in Tso Kar. 640 00:50:56,378 --> 00:51:00,298 The sun is pretty low in the sky, so we got to get to camp and 641 00:51:00,378 --> 00:51:03,077 making our tent pretty soon, but 642 00:51:04,838 --> 00:51:08,458 what was a nine-hour day is now complete almost. 643 00:51:10,558 --> 00:51:11,898 The sun is shining on us now. 644 00:51:14,798 --> 00:51:17,498 Little wind makes it harder, but I think we're doing okay. 645 00:51:26,038 --> 00:51:26,778 You don't like this at all? 646 00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:28,718 At all. It's too windy. 647 00:51:29,758 --> 00:51:30,218 Shutting it? 648 00:51:31,098 --> 00:51:31,538 I don't know. 649 00:51:32,638 --> 00:51:33,638 It's pretty f*****g windy. 650 00:51:34,878 --> 00:51:37,218 Can we really not turn the tent 90 degrees? 651 00:51:37,838 --> 00:51:39,718 We can, but even then- 652 00:51:39,778 --> 00:51:40,738 I don't think that'll make a difference. 653 00:51:41,358 --> 00:51:43,058 The wind's kind of blowing all over the place 654 00:51:43,638 --> 00:51:45,798 ... it's going to be slapping us all night long. 655 00:51:46,018 --> 00:51:47,298 That's going to be impossible to put on right now. 656 00:51:47,378 --> 00:51:49,438 All right. Then let's go. If it's impossible, let's go. 657 00:51:50,898 --> 00:51:51,918 Let's make an executive. 658 00:51:52,738 --> 00:51:53,338 I vote tent. 659 00:51:54,178 --> 00:51:55,838 I vote no tent tonight. 660 00:51:59,418 --> 00:52:02,158 We make it through the mountains, we make it through the rain, 661 00:52:05,298 --> 00:52:08,858 and when we set up our campsite, that was going to be our 662 00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:12,198 moment of triumph. 663 00:52:13,458 --> 00:52:15,278 We get just 664 00:52:16,098 --> 00:52:19,788 slammed with 40, 50 mile an hour gusts of 665 00:52:19,838 --> 00:52:20,158 wind. 666 00:52:22,378 --> 00:52:26,178 The ups and 667 00:52:26,198 --> 00:52:29,638 downs of this trip have been... 668 00:52:34,578 --> 00:52:37,198 That's what this whole trip has been, ups and downs. 669 00:52:45,878 --> 00:52:46,438 So 670 00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:50,598 I learned how to drive a manual transmission car. 671 00:52:50,718 --> 00:52:51,338 Sammy taught me, 672 00:52:52,678 --> 00:52:54,807 and it must have been 673 00:52:57,478 --> 00:53:01,318 2013. He took me to the 674 00:53:02,378 --> 00:53:04,508 Concord Middle School. It was a 675 00:53:05,658 --> 00:53:06,818 mile down the road from us. 676 00:53:08,898 --> 00:53:10,098 And it was just a loop. 677 00:53:20,848 --> 00:53:22,218 Oh, I can't believe he's gone. 678 00:53:27,138 --> 00:53:28,318 I can't believe he's gone. 679 00:53:40,258 --> 00:53:41,478 And he was such a great teacher 680 00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:44,598 because he's kind and he was patient 681 00:53:45,918 --> 00:53:49,498 in ways unlike me or my father, who would be yelling and, "Don't do that. 682 00:53:49,558 --> 00:53:50,478 You're going to burn the clutch. 683 00:53:51,838 --> 00:53:54,998 Slam on the brake. Stop. Don't do that." And 684 00:53:58,818 --> 00:54:00,778 he just coached me through it. 685 00:54:02,438 --> 00:54:05,858 Any time you drive a manual transmission car, for me, 686 00:54:07,878 --> 00:54:09,438 in some way it reminds me of Sam. 687 00:54:12,398 --> 00:54:13,618 Just saying that out loud, 688 00:54:20,998 --> 00:54:23,418 it's probably why I enjoy being on the motorbike so much, 689 00:54:24,958 --> 00:54:26,778 because it makes me feel close to Sam again. 690 00:54:58,114 --> 00:54:58,974 There's a saying, 691 00:55:00,434 --> 00:55:02,534 anyone can ride in the sun. 692 00:55:06,134 --> 00:55:07,134 But what they don't say 693 00:55:08,334 --> 00:55:11,014 is you never know how long the sun will shine on you. 694 00:55:36,214 --> 00:55:38,994 We're cool. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. 695 00:55:39,034 --> 00:55:39,354 It's 696 00:55:39,474 --> 00:55:43,504 tough. 697 00:55:47,374 --> 00:55:47,614 Okay. 698 00:55:48,634 --> 00:55:49,344 TK. TK. 699 00:55:49,374 --> 00:55:50,063 Okay, yeah. Fine. 700 00:55:53,794 --> 00:55:54,534 Go 701 00:55:55,434 --> 00:55:55,444 slowly. 702 00:55:55,454 --> 00:55:55,914 Yeah, yeah, okay. 703 00:55:56,254 --> 00:55:58,154 Goodbye. Go slowly. 704 00:55:58,274 --> 00:55:59,774 Okay, slowly. Okay, well done. 705 00:56:13,334 --> 00:56:14,314 On a motorcycle, 706 00:56:15,754 --> 00:56:16,894 it's never a question 707 00:56:17,954 --> 00:56:19,014 of if you're going to fall, 708 00:56:20,644 --> 00:56:21,154 but when. 709 00:56:25,714 --> 00:56:26,454 And with Sam, 710 00:56:28,114 --> 00:56:29,134 it's never a question 711 00:56:30,134 --> 00:56:31,214 of if it's going to hurt, 712 00:56:33,594 --> 00:56:34,934 but how I carry the pain 713 00:56:36,534 --> 00:56:37,454 and keep going. 714 00:56:51,634 --> 00:56:51,914 Three. 715 00:56:52,494 --> 00:56:53,014 Oh, boy. 716 00:56:53,814 --> 00:56:54,154 I hear it. 717 00:56:54,774 --> 00:56:55,844 Something seems to be ripping. 718 00:56:57,074 --> 00:56:59,794 Isn't this so much easier than when it's howling wind? 719 00:57:01,074 --> 00:57:01,254 Yeah? 720 00:57:06,134 --> 00:57:07,574 Yep, there she goes. 721 00:57:12,074 --> 00:57:12,654 That's pretty good. 722 00:57:14,394 --> 00:57:15,654 All right. Roll tide. 723 00:57:21,954 --> 00:57:25,474 This is about as nice of a campsite as one could ask for, I think. 724 00:57:25,754 --> 00:57:28,114 I also love the Buddhist flag 725 00:57:28,914 --> 00:57:30,874 zip line situation we have above us. 726 00:57:31,334 --> 00:57:31,734 I agree. 727 00:57:32,394 --> 00:57:36,234 If this is what we earned from 728 00:57:36,314 --> 00:57:37,724 Shingala and yesterday- 729 00:57:38,074 --> 00:57:38,654 Worth it 730 00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,014 ... it was 100% worth it. 731 00:57:51,634 --> 00:57:52,494 If suffering 732 00:57:53,534 --> 00:57:55,734 is a creation of my own mind, 733 00:57:57,654 --> 00:58:00,814 then isn't suffering just the price you pay 734 00:58:01,734 --> 00:58:02,974 for letting yourself care? 735 00:58:05,694 --> 00:58:07,734 And because I let myself love Sam, 736 00:58:09,414 --> 00:58:10,154 it's painful. 737 00:58:12,214 --> 00:58:12,854 Painful, 738 00:58:14,254 --> 00:58:14,954 but worth it, 739 00:58:17,774 --> 00:58:19,274 just like this journey. 740 00:58:21,374 --> 00:58:23,254 India is just epic. 741 00:58:24,494 --> 00:58:27,054 We knew it was going to be tough. We knew it was going to be 742 00:58:27,894 --> 00:58:29,174 probably a little crazy, and 743 00:58:30,614 --> 00:58:34,574 you start to think about those things and how amazing this adventure has 744 00:58:34,634 --> 00:58:37,954 been both introspectively resetting and 745 00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:41,634 appreciating what it means to keep going, what it means to 746 00:58:41,754 --> 00:58:45,303 carry forward, what it means to carry a broken heart forward and 747 00:58:45,774 --> 00:58:49,554 still set ambitious goals and go and do the 748 00:58:49,614 --> 00:58:50,014 most 749 00:58:51,374 --> 00:58:55,034 that you can with the time that you have in 750 00:58:55,094 --> 00:58:58,654 life. I don't think Sam would want me to close off and 751 00:58:59,534 --> 00:59:03,474 not do everything that he would want to do or I would want to do. 752 00:59:03,514 --> 00:59:06,574 He would want me to do more, if anything. 753 00:59:07,174 --> 00:59:09,674 I need to do twice as much to see 754 00:59:12,074 --> 00:59:13,634 things for both him 755 00:59:15,254 --> 00:59:15,794 and I. 756 00:59:22,874 --> 00:59:24,114 I think today was a pretty good day. 757 00:59:25,194 --> 00:59:26,134 Today was very good. 758 00:59:28,214 --> 00:59:30,574 It is a beautiful night. 759 00:59:38,374 --> 00:59:40,914 I'd like to raise a toast to the late, great Samuel J. 760 00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:42,914 Here, here. 761 00:59:43,554 --> 00:59:43,894 Ding. 762 00:59:44,194 --> 00:59:48,074 Let the water fill this 763 00:59:48,114 --> 00:59:50,974 hand. And bring it to your 764 00:59:51,074 --> 00:59:54,194 mouth. Pass it on your 765 00:59:54,474 --> 00:59:55,314 lips. 766 00:59:56,414 --> 01:00:00,334 No, girl, can't ride this 767 01:00:00,414 --> 01:00:03,834 train. Because I can't stand to stay. 768 01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:07,954 Right where I am. 769 01:00:08,934 --> 01:00:12,374 Let the water fill this 770 01:00:12,774 --> 01:00:13,334 hand. 771 01:00:14,134 --> 01:00:17,854 And bring it to your mouth. Let it pass 772 01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:21,454 beyond your lips. No, 773 01:00:21,814 --> 01:00:24,774 girl, can't ride this 774 01:00:24,874 --> 01:00:26,354 train. 775 01:00:28,114 --> 01:00:29,614 Oh, that one's for Sammy. 776 01:00:34,474 --> 01:00:35,874 You got it, bud. 777 01:00:58,294 --> 01:00:59,574 What do I take back with 778 01:00:59,654 --> 01:01:05,038 - me? - That 779 01:01:05,078 --> 01:01:05,838 even in death, 780 01:01:07,098 --> 01:01:08,258 there's still life. 781 01:01:11,138 --> 01:01:12,818 And you only carry a heavy heart 782 01:01:14,378 --> 01:01:15,018 when your heart 783 01:01:15,918 --> 01:01:16,478 is full. 784 01:01:33,718 --> 01:01:34,338 Somehow, 785 01:01:35,418 --> 01:01:38,098 Buddhism gave me exactly what I needed. 786 01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:42,798 Not a secret cure 787 01:01:43,978 --> 01:01:47,678 or promise to see Sam again in another life, 788 01:01:50,518 --> 01:01:51,798 but another perspective. 789 01:01:55,118 --> 01:01:57,098 And even though the monasteries were empty 790 01:01:58,778 --> 01:01:59,958 and temples locked, 791 01:02:01,778 --> 01:02:03,218 it gave me a way to learn 792 01:02:04,438 --> 01:02:05,458 that what I was seeking 793 01:02:07,098 --> 01:02:09,198 was inside all along. 794 01:02:31,378 --> 01:02:33,998 Back in Leh with different bikes this time. 795 01:02:35,518 --> 01:02:37,078 Kurt, how we feeling? 796 01:02:38,098 --> 01:02:39,958 Feeling good. Morale is definitely high. 797 01:02:40,528 --> 01:02:41,378 I think this will be a good 798 01:02:42,218 --> 01:02:45,098 almost a joy ride up to 18,300 today. 799 01:02:56,748 --> 01:02:57,598 A motorcycle 800 01:02:58,578 --> 01:02:59,678 is a simple machine. 801 01:03:01,138 --> 01:03:01,458 Rubber, 802 01:03:03,398 --> 01:03:03,698 metal, 803 01:03:06,238 --> 01:03:06,818 and fuel. 804 01:03:09,758 --> 01:03:10,638 But on this journey, 805 01:03:11,898 --> 01:03:13,358 it gave me so much more. 806 01:03:15,497 --> 01:03:16,558 It made me believe 807 01:03:18,238 --> 01:03:19,398 that there is such thing 808 01:03:20,418 --> 01:03:21,438 as moto therapy. 809 01:04:22,308 --> 01:04:23,618 Having fun today. 810 01:04:54,478 --> 01:04:55,598 The top of the world, 811 01:04:56,518 --> 01:04:59,038 17,900 feet. 812 01:05:00,778 --> 01:05:04,538 I thought I was getting the hang of this whole high-altitude thing, and here we 813 01:05:04,578 --> 01:05:08,558 go. 11,000 to 17,000 just knocks you right back on 814 01:05:08,598 --> 01:05:09,058 your a*s. 815 01:05:22,898 --> 01:05:26,717 A little sad. You feel bittersweet. 816 01:05:29,218 --> 01:05:31,598 So much of this trip has been bittersweet. 817 01:05:32,878 --> 01:05:34,218 You're grateful that it happened, 818 01:05:35,898 --> 01:05:36,978 but you're sad that it's 819 01:05:38,258 --> 01:05:38,778 ended. 820 01:06:21,358 --> 01:06:23,238 If I hadn't gone to the Himalayas, 821 01:06:25,218 --> 01:06:26,838 would I have found my gravity again? 822 01:06:30,098 --> 01:06:31,858 It wasn't a mountaintop 823 01:06:32,918 --> 01:06:33,858 or river crossing, 824 01:06:35,418 --> 01:06:36,718 but a sense of purpose, 825 01:06:38,558 --> 01:06:39,538 a higher calling 826 01:06:40,638 --> 01:06:41,498 that led me here. 827 01:06:45,478 --> 01:06:46,498 And I couldn't have done it 828 01:06:47,938 --> 01:06:48,878 without my brothers, 829 01:06:51,118 --> 01:06:51,798 the mountains, 830 01:06:53,458 --> 01:06:54,998 and of course, 831 01:06:56,278 --> 01:06:57,118 the motorcycles. 832 01:06:58,318 --> 01:07:01,498 This is the part of the journey where you start to reflect. 833 01:07:02,638 --> 01:07:06,538 We got an incredible education about Buddhism, about 834 01:07:06,548 --> 01:07:10,318 how Ladakhi culture looks at life, death, 835 01:07:10,498 --> 01:07:13,118 grief, and how those are all 836 01:07:13,158 --> 01:07:15,968 intertwinedSome of it was helpful. 837 01:07:17,048 --> 01:07:19,168 A lot of it was new. 838 01:07:20,288 --> 01:07:23,008 And most importantly, it's 839 01:07:24,588 --> 01:07:25,048 simply 840 01:07:26,488 --> 01:07:27,888 being here and being now 841 01:07:28,928 --> 01:07:29,508 so that 842 01:07:30,448 --> 01:07:32,188 you can just 843 01:07:34,168 --> 01:07:35,068 keep moving forward. 844 01:07:36,188 --> 01:07:40,068 Because if you let the past trap you or you let the 845 01:07:40,108 --> 01:07:43,908 future planning paralyze you, you get stuck. 846 01:07:44,708 --> 01:07:48,648 This is like an opening salvo of dealing with 847 01:07:48,748 --> 01:07:50,848 a loss the way that Ben is. 848 01:07:51,928 --> 01:07:52,528 And 849 01:07:54,128 --> 01:07:56,488 I think this is a great opening salvo. 850 01:07:57,468 --> 01:07:58,628 He's with a couple of friends. 851 01:07:59,568 --> 01:08:02,388 We've spent two weeks in the middle of 852 01:08:02,548 --> 01:08:04,298 absolutely nowhere 853 01:08:05,288 --> 01:08:05,838 and 854 01:08:06,848 --> 01:08:09,808 doing things that are difficult physically, emotionally, 855 01:08:11,488 --> 01:08:13,348 but that was kind of the point. 856 01:08:13,408 --> 01:08:16,329 You have this warm feeling in your chest when 857 01:08:16,449 --> 01:08:17,608 you've 858 01:08:18,529 --> 01:08:21,688 finished what you set out to do. I'll be able to 859 01:08:22,788 --> 01:08:26,288 look back at this or remember these 860 01:08:26,348 --> 01:08:29,208 days with such a full heart. 861 01:08:40,268 --> 01:08:41,329 Yeah, I think Sammy's proud. 862 01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:16,808 Bye, my man. 863 01:09:18,428 --> 01:09:19,648 Take care of yourself. 864 01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,648 Be in touch. 865 01:09:22,728 --> 01:09:23,347 Heart over cheese. 866 01:09:23,648 --> 01:09:24,137 Jam cheese it. 867 01:09:24,188 --> 01:09:24,768 Cheese and heart. 868 01:09:29,888 --> 01:09:31,029 Get that passport. 869 01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:33,648 It was so good having you, man. 870 01:09:33,728 --> 01:09:34,708 Yes, it was a pleasure. 871 01:09:36,308 --> 01:09:36,888 In the end, 872 01:09:38,648 --> 01:09:40,128 I learned to face my pain, 873 01:09:43,008 --> 01:09:45,029 to carry my broken heart forward. 874 01:09:47,989 --> 01:09:50,938 And I learned that even though Sam's gone, 875 01:09:52,428 --> 01:09:53,248 I'll always be 876 01:09:54,488 --> 01:09:55,248 his older brother.